Why do I care too much and have a soft heart? Why do I cry every day and isolate myself from the world?

 Why do I care too much and have a soft heart? Why do I cry every day and isolate myself from the world?

I sympathise. Sensitivity is a heavy burden. Arguably, however, the greatest people in history had soft hearts. Their soft hearts led them to challenge their counterpoints: the hard-hearted individuals and systems which have crushed and oppressed humans, literally and metaphorically, for millennia. In a harsh and cruel world having a soft heart can be agonising. It can also, however, spur you to do your utmost to make sense of the mess, find some unifying, higher purpose and gradually transcend the temptation to live a small and selfish life.

I’m currently reading the biography of Etty Hillesum, who, when she was aged 29, was killed by the Nazis in Auschwitz during the Holocaust. Despite the terrible circumstances in which she found herself she refused to hate, instead devoting her life to little acts of kindness and goodness. If life appalls you then I’d encourage you to read about her or others like her. It may be difficult reading but, counter-intuitively, healing is to be found in facing up to the worst that life can throw at you. You may be surprised by your growing capacity to deal with the pain of the world and yet carry on.

Sensitivity is not merely a curse to be borne but may be a gift which raises you out of the, often petty, mundanity of bare existence into a more vital life, in which each moment rings with the truth that no circumstance is so appalling that it cannot be redeemed and used for the good.

Seek out a confidant, either a professional or a friend, who can help you to deal with any negative emotions. Talking through your feelings can be a very good way to release their power over you.

Try meditating. It can help to provide a bit of distance between you and your feelings. Also, make sure there isn’t a medical reason for any negative emotions. Many people take anti-depressants and find them helpful. There’s no shame in it.

Above all, don’t give up. Don’t assume that your life will, inevitably, always be a difficult one. I’m a highly sensitive person too but I’ve worked through my particular challenges and can truly say I live with a sense of peace and joy. You can too.